Talking With Your Teenager About Sex
20 12 07 - 00:00
Topic Overview
As adolescents enter their late teen years, they begin to date more regularly, and many become sexually intimate with a partner. For many, sexual drive is at its strongest during adolescence. More than half of teenagers will have had sexual intercourse by the age of 17. By the age of 18, 65% of girls and 68% of boys have had sexual intercourse. 1
Talking to your son or daughter about sex
Whether they are sexually active or not, teenagers need help to make responsible choices about sex. Talking about sex does not encourage sexual activity in teens; in fact, some studies show that talking frankly and honestly about sex can prevent teenage pregnancy and delay intercourse. Having an open, honest relationship with your teen will largely depend on the quality of the relationship you have built to this point.
Topic Overview
As adolescents enter their late teen years, they begin to date more regularly, and many become sexually intimate with a partner. For many, sexual drive is at its strongest during adolescence. More than half of teenagers will have had sexual intercourse by the age of 17. By the age of 18, 65% of girls and 68% of boys have had sexual intercourse. 1
Talking to your son or daughter about sex
Whether they are sexually active or not, teenagers need help to make responsible choices about sex. Talking about sex does not encourage sexual activity in teens; in fact, some studies show that talking frankly and honestly about sex can prevent teenage pregnancy and delay intercourse. Having an open, honest relationship with your teen will largely depend on the quality of the relationship you have built to this point.
Ideally, you should begin to discuss sex with your child while he or she is in elementary school. A good way to start is to acknowledge that talking about sex may be awkward, but that your child should never be afraid to ask you questions. Discussing sex and sexuality with your children is not a one-time conversation, however. As they grow and mature, children naturally have questions about their sexuality. The more you can give them guidance, the better prepared they will be to make responsible decisions.
If you are unsure of how to begin such a conversation, use everyday situations as an icebreaker. Use examples on TV or another teen's pregnancy to start a discussion about sex and dating.
Your local library, church or synagogue, or organizations such as Planned Parenthood will have information to help you talk to your kids about sex and family life issues. Planned Parenthood and other groups offer counseling and classes you can take with your teenager to discuss sex, dating, and other important issues.
Discussing contraception
Talking about condoms and other forms of contraception is often based on family values and attitudes. Nevertheless, it's essential to make sure your teen understands how to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, how pregnancy occurs, and how to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, be it by abstinence or the use of condoms and other contraceptive methods.
Discussing sexual abuse and date rape
Giving your teen information about date rape is important. As many as 1 in 4 high school girls and 1 in 10 high school boys report having been physically or sexually abused. 2 A history of sexual abuse puts teens at higher risk for sexual and physical abuse by a date or a peer.
Talk to your teens about the following:
Avoid places that are secluded. Go where there are other people, where you feel comfortable and safe. Don't go to a date's home or invite him to yours. These are the places where most acquaintance rapes occur.
Trust your instincts. If you feel vulnerable, you might be. For example, avoid parties where boys greatly outnumber girls.
Don't be afraid to be rude. If a situation feels wrong or you start to get nervous, confront your date immediately or leave as quickly as possible.
Avoid alcohol and drugs. They compromise your ability—and that of your date—to make responsible decisions.
Go on a group or double date. Especially at first, dating in groups may be more comfortable and less risky. When teens are with friends who are trustworthy, they tend to be safer, even when they break rules.